I touched a spider!
No, no wait, that's not right...
I voluntarily touched a spider!
If you know me at all, you should recognize the huge difference between those two statements. HUGE! Like,
"Ron Jeremy on Viagra" huge.
I was at the Bug Zoo the other day, and one of the tour guides had a tarantula out of it's cage and was letting adults hold it in their hand. I stayed on the outskirts of the group that was huddled around her, just to make sure I knew where it was so I could vamoose if it decided to pull a Braveheart and charge the crowd screaming "FREEDOM!!!" After a couple of people had held it though, crazy ideas started floating around in my head. I remembered how some lunatic psychiatrists believe that facing your fears is the best way to overcome them, or some crap like that. I asked the tour guide how likely it is for the spider to crawl up your arm, and she replied that it would be very unlikely, as the spider is frightened from being handled, and is kind of just waiting it out. Before I could change my mind, I asked her if I could hold it - but just for a second because I was scared! She gently laid the tarantula on my hand, just touching it's pointy little feet down, before taking it away. What happened next must have looked hilarious, because I squealed, started babbling, and even jumped up and down a little bit. Then, being the complete wimp that I am, started to get a little teary, emotional, and really scared, even though it was all over with. Heh. Oops. Oh well. I'm still stoked that I worked up the courage to actually touch a tarantula.
So now I'm sitting here in my Spider-Man jammies, waiting for my powers to manifest. I am so going to web the cats to the wall!